Bo Chomi – This is from a local girl’s perspective.
NOW: if you don’t understand political satire please don’t read this piece. If you are sensitive please stop right here:
Those who have the “eyeballs” to continue: let’s start with the Head of the North West Government himself and probably begin by celebrating that this time his advisers managed to smuggle good fashion information into his ears and told him that the days of oversized suits are over.
However, he needs to attend to his big ties, they look like toddler bibs. With your salary Tonakgolo, you can afford to buy more elegant shoes and not those School boy Bata types (unless they are meant to cushion you from the invisible potholes when you take your morning walks).
We now turn our attention to Aus Basetsana and a few of her types: as the Speaker of the House. She had stylish sunglasses and a beautiful doek to top it off nicely. However, the less said about her dress the better. She and a few other MPs like the MEC of Agriculture and one of the representatives of the NW in the NCOP originally from Klerksdorp cannot be trusted for home visits because clearly they can be tempted to steal your curtains. I now realise why (it is rumoured) most of their friends prefer hosting them in restaurants.
MEC for Finance, please keep your curtains down to your ankles – you will certainly thank me later. MEC for Social Development we know our iceberg is melting, but you did not have to exchange your curtains for a penguin robe.
The current strong man (now an MEC) was dressed in a suit that is usually rocked by African dictators - we really hope he is not sending a message to his opponents. Nevertheless, we must commend his wife, she was dressed to kill in that green number. She could be a fashion consultant for your colleagues Comrade Chair.
Perhaps, she is our hope for home brewed fashion tips for most of the MP’s. Inspiring the province politically can be cumbersome, but at least get assistance with fashion tips from your wife (starting with you at home).
The President declared a national state of disaster and I think Ausi Priscilla and Abuti Sello qualify as models for the Disaster Parade. Sister Priscilla, not everybody can pull the palazzo pants look, you must have the style to rock it. You looked like a depressed child from the outskirts of Zeerust who was bullied into wearing an oversized suit.
I was seeing you for the first time on that fateful Friday, your interesting social media voice notes do not match your absent fashion sense. The MEC of Economic Development is young but she does not know how to dress, apply make-up or fake hair that suits her. We understand her background, but we thought the position will sanitise her. The obtuse normally dress up nicely. You are in that position to represent us as young black women.
MEC Motsumi must give you these tips because we notice you guys are friends. She knows how to dress sometimes. Her costume in this SOPA was a risk, but it worked. Danko MEC Motsumi and MEC Mosenogi you saved the day, your dresses reflected the youthful taste we want to see. In you, we have hope that the ruling class of the future will support proper South African designers.
Ntate Lehari, my tip to you is that you must fire that fashion charlatan you left at The Department of Education for influencing you wrongly. In fact, both of you need to be taken through the ANC Disciplinary Process for placing this once glorious organization into disrepute for your bad garments. The first thing you must account for is your pants, you must explain whether you were wearing long or short pants. The second thing you must explain is that shiny jacket, is it because you were probably carrying the ANC bank card inside it? If there was a fire in the Legislature, your jacket would have been the first to catch it.
Please leave it in Moria next time you go there Ntate Moruti (it needs a lot of Zionic Prayers). Thumbs-up to Ntate Mataboge and his wife for stealing the show: I think they were the best dressed couple according to the North-West Legislature standards. But Bra KB, please be careful with your tops, they can be disastrous if you want to make them too exotic, keep it simple and classy as you usually do. You have the body to make simple suits look good, if you were not married, I would stalk you.
On the opposition, the DA is a fashion-dry-house, that dread-locked MP of the DA outclassed Oleg Popov in the Moscow Circus with his peacock number. The older MP’s in the DA always expect him to keep their dodgy image intact.
Unfortunately, he/she is very consistent with disappointing because he/she likes venturing into exotic fashion that he/she does not master. On the left hand of the political spectrum, the EFF Fighters, fighters who cannot fight, always run away from the contest with their red coveralls to fake poverty (unfortunately the expensive bags of their female MP’s always expose them).
Thank you, Madam Speaker, for not allowing Ntate Supra to attend this year’s SOPA, his jacket at the SONA would have brought your provincial house down on more comedic fire. Nobody would have been able to listen to the “boring speech “of the guy from Mahura Street – if the Setsokotsane Jacket Man was around.
You should have at least invited one Kenny Morolong, the only boon of a lawmaker (representing us nationally) who is consistent with dressing well, there is no evidence that he is a plaasjapie. He must deal with kwashiorkor-like belly though and his sexy-dripping suits will be 100%.
With all of this, we pray to the God of Politics and Fashion to give us a better bunch in the next term. We need younger MPs who will deliver the goods and equally dress better when they publicly outline their policy statements. Those who wear such ugly expensive clothes must be arrested by the fashion police (then they can be trailed inside the gaol for further charges related to bad governance and eating alone).
**The writer is a fashion lover and an observer of politics from Lonely Park, I really thank the Protocol Team for dropping one of the access cards, I immediately left my protest poster at the gate and managed to enter SOPA 2023 to observe the fashion disaster from inside.**
** The views expressed above are of the writer, who wrote in her personal capacity and does not represent Mo Media staff, advertisers and other related **
